Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review

4 years and almost 3 billion in box office earnings later Michael Bay's Transformers trilogy is over....I can't say complete because these three movies are anything but, except a complete waste of time and money.
The first movie left me a glimmer of hope that the next film would be even better....it wasn't http://willsfreeswim.blogspot.com/2009/06/transformers-revenge-of-fallen.html
Now after all the excuses and hype we get Transformers: Dark of the Moon, was it good? In my opinion no, were the effects impressive? Yes, but this is the third movie and by now using the crutch that these are special effects blockbusters doesn't cut it.
In TDotM we are introduced to two major new characters Sentinel Prime, previous leader of the Autobots before handing the Matrix down to Optimus and Shockwave. The later is what got me to go see this movie, as a kid I thought Shockwave was the coolest Decepticon and the original Marvel comics series solidified that with Transformers issue # 5. This movie failed miserably to capture the essence of Shockwave and most of the primary Transformers. But when your design for Shockwave reminds me of the cinematic jem D-Wars...you've really done something incredibly wrong!
Back to Sentinel Prime...I liked the design, I was impressed they got Leonard Nemoy to voice the character and for the most part I was ok with the way they retconed the Autobot leader history with Sentinel Prime but the hardcore fans will cry foul. I would have preferred seeing the G1 Alpha Trion story where he takes a damaged Orion Pax and rebuilds him into Optimus Prime The first "leader" of the new Autobot army.....oh well, another fanboy dream dashed!
Ok lets change gears for a second to the fleshlings, Shia LeBeouf as Sam Witwicky, I liked the character in the first movie...a little less in the second and even less in this movie...I can't tell if it's the character that's changed or the actor.
Sam's new girlfriend Carly Spencer played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley aside from eye candy was useless, and when she got all up in Megatron's grill talking smack....I threw up a little in my mouth. I would've preferred Sam to be single and trying to make his way in the real world, than the panty waist he came across as in DotM. 

John Turturro yet again comes across as complete douchebag...I've never seen a character span an entire trilogy as absolutely irritating and poorly developed as Agent Simmons. It's unfortunate Steve Buscemi wasn't available for the role....I honestly believe he would've done a much better job.
Ma and Pa Witwicky are back and I'm happy to say they're not as utterly retarded as in RotF. 
Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson  put in solid performances in DotM and their characters have been the most consistent and enjoyable through these movies for me.  

Now for the new fleshlings in the series! 
Dylan Gould played by Patrick Dempsey, I feel the character would've worked better with Megan Fox's character Mikaela, the first two movies we learn she's good under the hood and her pops was a car thief...with her being replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Dylan Gould and Carly Spencer seem disjointed and out of place in this movie.

Bruce Brazos played by John Malkovich...wait who!? The John Malkovich, I'm sure the ONLY reason he did this is for the paycheck. Cool that he's in the movie but really over qualified actor in my opinion.

And then there's Ken Jeong...this "little" guy seems to be everywhere since the hangover! He plays Jerry Wang and is in one of the most outrageous scenes in any of the 3 movies involving Sam Witwicky, Jerry Wang and a bathroom stall...nuff said. Suffice it to say I was glad to see Jerry Wang plummet to his death.

I was pleasantly surprised by the Buzz Aldrin cameo, seeing Buzz Aldrin talking to Optimus Prime was pretty geektacular. 

Once the assault on Chicago got underway DotM hit a good pace and all the superfluous crap went to the back burner, the airborne jump above the battle by Lennox and the army forces was epic! And I have to admit the scenes with Sam, Epps and his squad trying to make their way to Cary and Dylan was also epic. As mentioned earlier I was not impressed with Shockwave, more exactly the cybernetic worms he controlled...what the hell were they!?
The other glaring problem I had with DotM was the significant lack of screen time Megatron had. We see him briefly in Africa then briefly throughout the assault on Chicago it's not till he rips Sentinel a new one, but then seems to revert back to a feeble shell of his former glory and then Optimus totally does something so out of character it had me go WTF!? 

To sum up my feelings for DotM and all 3 movies It's not like we're looking for Shakespearian quality for a Transformers movie but if they had used the G1 series as a foundation for these 3 movies I honestly believe they would've been infinitely better than the crap Bay put on the screen. The work ILM put into bringing these robots to life is absolutely spectacular but I truly dispised the design of some of them. The elementary school scripts, obnoxious human characters, nauseating dialog and mind numbing inattention to detail has me depressed when you factor in these movies have made almost 3 BILLION dollars in worldwide BO sales.....WTF PEOPLE!!!

Someone is going to sit down one day and watch these 3 movies back to back and realize that in the first movie Megatron chases the All Spark from Cybertron to Earth and crashes in the arctic for millions of years, In the second Movie Megs needs Optimus Prime Dead to find the Autobot Matrix to power the Sun Harvestor but in the third movie Megs needs Optimus Alive to find and revive Sentinel Prime in order to power the space bridge to...these movies make guys like me who grew up watching the G1 series cringe.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon was better than Revenge of the Fallen but that's not anything to celebrate about.

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