Saturday, November 1, 2014

Bad Robots

So I couldn't convince John Walsh to write this article and John Connor wasn't available so here we go!
Humanity is doomed, the sooner you come to terms with this the better off you'll be, if the Zombie apocalypse doesn't get us the Robots certainly will! And since I've been old enough to go to the movies I've been reminded that we will eventually be ruled by our own creations! God creates man in his likeness, man forsakes God for technology, man creates machines in their likeness, machines forsake man...we've seen that story line time and's like we're predicting our own demise!
With the recent Age of Ultron trailer and the plot reveal for Terminator Genisys (ugh why!?) it dawned on me that we need to smash our technological shackles and start planting trees and realigning with the the erf!
So as a public service Free Swim is giving you Humanities 10 Most Wanted Robotic Criminals! (in no particular order)

1. B166ER (Animatrix): This robot pretty much told his owners to eat a dick and killed em! Tired of helping Evelyn put on her depends under garments he strangled Harvey and then cracked Evelyn's cranium like a fortune cookie.

2. Legion (Mass Effect) We can learn ALOT from the Quarians! They get evicted from their home world and then when you're forced to choose between the Geth and the Quarians in ME3 if you choose the Geth the remaining Quarians are exterminated by the reapers and Tali commits suicide!

3.Mark 13 (Hardware) Just when you thought it was safe to resume your love for sculpture with junk laying around  the wastelands of a dystopian future....

4. Ultron (Avengers Age of Ultron) He's gonna show us something strings on our boy Ultron

5. Megatron (Transformers) The ruthless leader of the Decepticons, hell bent on destroying the Autobots and ruling Cybertron and sucking the earth dry of it's natural resources..(energon).

6. T-800 (Terminator) Ahh Cyberdyne systems model 101 Out to kill the mother of mankind's last best hope but then to protect her son that in the future kills him but is reprogrammed and sent back to chaperon him to a bunker before Skynet becomes self aware and declares war on humanity....oww my brain!

7. Roy Batty (Blade Runner) Poor Roy the Replicant just wanted to live a little longer....don't we all.

8. Ash (Alien) A last minute change to your crew's science officer may raise a couple flags,,,Ash lost it because of Ripley's incessant nagging....shoving a news paper down the bitch's throat might not be the most prudent approach...

9. David 8 (Promethius) Ok are a curious one aren't you? Obviously you have some degree of an a Oedipus Complex your working out.

10. Lore (Star Trek TNG) Ah the old Ying Yang of the Universe....For every Data there's an equal and opposite Lore...if you find the remains of a cyborg scattered across the galaxy, best to leave it alone! There's a reason.