Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review

Optimus, you lost me at "Punk ass Decepticon"....

When we last saw Optimus and the gang, Megatron was destroyed and dropped in the ocean, Starscream was fleeing earth, and Sam was getting busy with Mikaela on top of Bumblebee.....things were looking good.

I'll be honest, I enjoyed the first Transformers movie when I saw it in the theater in 2007, BUT when I bought it on DVD every consequtive viewing was less and less enjoyable. I think once the intial awe of seeing the giant robots transform and interact with real actors seamlessly wears off there's little else of value in the movie....Acting meh.....Story meh....Likeable Characters/Development....meh Soundtrack....meh.

Regrettibly the same holds true for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, this movie is absolutely amazing visually.....THAT IS IT! The team at ILM should be commended the special effects are trully remarkable. I wish there was other aspects of RotF I could praise but there really isn't. As weak as the story was for the first movie this one makes it look like Gone With the Wind! So Sam's going to college, he has commitment issues with Megan Fox (WHAT!?), Decepticon's are hunting down the remains of the all-spark to revive Megatron...(the same all-spark that destroyed him in the first movie), After Megs gets a jump start he heads to....Mars???Cybertron??? and talks to The Emperor...oops The Fallen about reclaiming the Autobot Matrix to activate a weapon that will destroy the Earth.

Revenge of the Fallen could've been so much more enjoyable if the story was actually comprehensible and was the main focus of the movie, not the CG and explosions. In my opinion the following things could've been removed altogether and the movie would've been better, Sam's mom getting high from hash brownies....this scene had me going WTF am I watching Transformers or Family Guy? Sam finding a shard of the all spark and having a bunch of household appliances come to life in his house....it was F*cking retarded in the first movie and this was worse ( Ejector a Decepticon toaser....REALLY?) Skids and Mudflap (The Twins)....every time they spoke I cringed...parents had brought their kids in my showing and the language these two blatantly obvious stereotypes spewed was absolutely not necessary! Sams roomate Leo....and I thought I couldn't hate any character more than Turturro's Agent Simmons from the first movie, Leo was the 9th gate of hell in cinematic history of useless/annoying/irratating characters. John Turturro "robo warrior" Agent Simmons would be the 8th gate, WHY WAS HE IN THE MOVIE???? NOT NECESSARY! Next pointless character is Alice the over aggressive slut who's actually a pretender (Pretender's were introduced at the end of the G1 golden years...the toys were garbage), again this character could've been written in with some more substance, but instead the little girls see the emotionless slut with a paint by numbers face use sex as a means of getting the all spark info from Sam.....GREAT MESSAGE FOR YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE GIRLS! The two characters that were worth developing got side lined; Mgr Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and CMSGT Rob Epps (Tyrese Gibson) There were too many useless human characters that weren't needed and unfortunately too many cool Transformers like Soundwave, Sideswipe, Jolt, and Sideways that took a back seat to stupidity like Skids and Mudflap, the most ghetto fabulous autobots in the history of Transformers. Scatman Crothers rest in peace. Wheelie the RC truck Decepticon....stop right there! Wheelie a Decepticon O.o. Kids this is Wheelie:

First he's an Autobot, second he speaks in riddles not like a 1930's gangster.

Onto the Fallen, I never believed that the Fallen was anyone other than Megatron, well I was wrong. Was the Character necessary? In my opinion, no. I would've prefered to see Starscream return to Cybertron and recruit fresh Decepticons and claim leadership in Megs absence (just like G1). This would've opened up the split factions of Decpticons senerio, Soundwave following Starscreams orders but secretly planning to revive Megs (the true fallen). Instead we get some lame ass Vader/Emperor carbon copy scene....LAME!

Megatron, I liked in RotF he resembled G1 Megs a bit more than the first movie, and the few scenes he had with Starscream did a great job of capturing the dynamic between them. I would've liked to see a more expanded scene of Megs reboot than just that short bit shown....feel free to delete any of the previously mentioned worthless scenes. Oh and I'm not sure how many people noticed but Megs is actually a triple changer now.

I'll finish up with Jetfire, in G1 he's actually a rip-off of Macross's VF-1 Valkyrie, the figure was very well built and was one of my favorites along with Shockwave. In RotF Jetfire is a SR-71 Blackbird....cool plane, horrible mech design....Jetfire's story in RotF is similar to his G1 story as he did begin as a Decepticon and switch alliances but that's where the similarities end. Jetfire could've been utilized so much better than being a plot device, a good indicator of how bad the character development is in this series is how I really had no emotional reaction when Jetfire is mortally wounded by Scorpononk and offers his spark to revive Optimus Prime.

Fans of Transformers: Armada were probably psyched to see Jet Optimus. I enjoyed watching Jet Optimus kick the shit outta The Fallen and Megatron at once. Like I said the special effects in RotF were outstanding...just wish the story was above mediocre.

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is not worth the price of admission and it's not good for younger viewers!

C-