Friday, July 25, 2014

Movie Review: Transformers Age of Extinction

Who in their right mind is paying money to see this shit?
Even with the talents of Stanley Tucci, Mark Wahlberg and Kelsey Grammer this movie couldn't be saved.
God Bless Mark Wahlberg for trying he gave it his best but these Bayformers movies are just so bad! AoE piggybacks off the insipid Bayformers Dark of the Moon to continue our agony...
So Kelsey Grammer has pulled the Autobots green card and uses some black ops group to hunt down and kill them. Then he allows Stanley Tucci's character to "harvest" their parts to build humanities own Transformers.
And while all this is going on there's a cybertronian bounty hunter called Lockdown trying to collect Optimus Prime. He never says who he's working for but we know.....
Lets just cut to the chase because writing about this movie is giving me a headache.....

  • At least 45 mins of the movie needed to be trimmed or made into 2 separate films.
  • Optimus Prime saying he's gonna kill a human is so unbelievably out of character it's painful.
  • Stanley Tucci's character not as annoying as John Turturro's characters but still bothersome.
  • Well Michael Bay ruined the Witwicky's legacy lets create a new dysfunctional family.
  • The Transformers robot mode's were too human looking, there's no way they could turn into there alt mode.
  • The KSI Transformers transformations was just lazy, I've seen better SFX  in videogames.
  •  Optimus Prime riding Grimlock in the lush hills of China....FAIL!!!

  • Galvatron created from the remains of Megatron....ok
  • Galvatron created from the remains of Megatron by Humans....NO!!!!
  • A Transformers movie with no it really a transformers movie?

If you never see Transformers: Age of Extinction you will not have missed a thing.
For the love of all things sacred and Holy STOP MAKING THESE AWFUL MOVIES!!!